When Things Don't Go “Like Clockwork,” Add Lubricant...
Sex does not always go smoothly, and because most of us did not receive especially good sex education, we do not always understand obvious things. For example, that sometimes nature needs a little help.
We found a woman who was ready to speak openly about one of the most intimate issues in sex...
“Not enough natural lubrication. Has that ever happened to you?
Unfortunately, it happened to me often. I felt embarrassed and ashamed, got upset and avoided sex until I studied the subject thoroughly – and until I bought my first bottle of lubricant. It opened a new world for me, new sensations and a new view of sex.
The cause of my problem turned out to be what gynecologists call “vaginal dryness.”
Vaginal dryness means insufficient natural lubrication. Without it, sex can stop being enjoyable. The purpose of lubrication is to reduce friction between the genitals. During long intercourse – and afterward – a lack of lubrication can feel inconvenient, uncomfortable and painful.
I searched for the reason for a long time, but it turned out to be painfully simple: there is no single universal reason for all women. “Everyone is different” is that frustrating phrase that makes you search for a long time until you find YOUR reason.
- pregnancy
- the postpartum period
- menopause
- hormonal changes
- sexually transmitted infections
- stress
- chronic fatigue and lack of sleep.
So, girls, there is nothing to be ashamed of – many of us will encounter at least one of these factors at some point in life.
If your natural lubrication is perfectly fine, do you still need a lubricant? You may, especially if you are planning a long “night of love” with your partner. Sometimes nature could use a little help ;)
You may need lubricant if you
- want to soften and moisturize the skin of intimate areas,
- want to extend intercourse while keeping it comfortable,
- need easier and more comfortable penetration, including with a condom or toy, or plan anal sex,
- are planning a long sex marathon,
- want to increase sensations, and so on.
So one way or another, shopping awaits you!
How do you choose the right lubricant?
I've collected the most important information to help you choose, because the selection is huge and can easily be confusing.
Lubricants can be:
- oil-based
- water-based
- silicone-based
- fat-based.
They can also be intended for:
- vaginal sex,
- oral sex,
- anal sex.
There are also combination products that can be great for massage during foreplay and then used as intimate gel lubricant.
Choosing the base is very important, so here are a few words about each type.
Oil-based lubricants. They were among the first on the market – the old-timers, deserving respect. They do their job well, BUT they have several disadvantages:
- they can leave marks on bedding and clothes,
- they are not compatible with latex condoms and latex toys because oils damage latex,
- they may cause allergic reactions.
I tried one and it worked for me. The advantage is that a little can last a long time, and it can also be used in water. You'll need soap or an intimate wash to remove it afterward.
Water-based lubricants are the most popular. I think that's because they are affordable and versatile, and allergic reactions are relatively uncommon. I found one drawback: you cannot really use them in the shower or pool, and they dry out fairly quickly. For a long love marathon, I would choose something else.
Otherwise, water-based lubricants are a must-have for the bedside table. They do not usually leave marks, wash off easily, feel pleasant and are suitable for use with condoms and many toys.
Silicone-based lubricants. I love them for their consistency and how long they last. They can be used for sex in water because they do not wash off easily. You'll also need soap or an intimate wash afterward. The original article warns, however, to check compatibility with your specific condoms and toys.
Fat-based products are made from animal or vegetable fats and are quite specific. The original article does not recommend them for vaginal sex because they can irritate mucous membranes, but suggests them for anal play or male masturbation.
What else can lubricant do?...
When I got deeper into the topic, I made an amazing discovery: lubricant is not only about moisture. Some products are also marketed to:
- prolong intercourse
- create warming or cooling effects
- increase arousal
- provide antiseptic properties
- and even support the intimate microflora.
Can you imagine? Of course, I tried different kinds!
Lubricants with a prolonging effect may contain menthol or lidocaine. These ingredients reduce sensitivity of the penis and are used to delay ejaculation.
Arousal-enhancing lubricants. I did not believe in these for a long time, but after trying them I changed my mind, and now I keep them in my bedroom. Such lubricants may contain ingredients such as arginine and create alternating warming and cooling sensations, which can feel stimulating.
A lubricant containing chili pepper extract or capsaicin can feel very hot in the literal sense. It is important not to overdo the amount, especially with warming products.
If a lubricant contains chlorhexidine, the product has antiseptic properties.
Are all lubricants suitable for oral sex?
Of course not.
I would choose flavored, water-based products intended for oral use.
Which lubricants are best for anal sex?
Again, not all of them. Ideally, buy products specifically intended for anal sex. Such lubricants are usually thicker in consistency and designed to provide longer-lasting glide. Some products may also contain additional ingredients, so always read the label carefully. For a first experience, the original article recommends a silicone-based lubricant.
There is much more that could be said, compared and analyzed about lubricants, but sometimes it is better to stop reading, choose and try.
And... wishing you bright orgasms...